26 November 2008

Last year's pretty good stuffing

We did this in a crock pot so first we warmed that up. Sandra and
I chopped up two onions, four stalks of celery and a couple teaspoons
of fresh sage and a fistful of parsley.
I put a large frying pan over medium heat and put in about half a
pound of mild bulk sausage and stirred it around. It stuck a bit so I
poured in a little water and that seemed to help.
When the sausage was brown (there was hardly any fat, for some
reason) I lowered the heat to medium low and added the onions and
celery and about half a stick of butter. At this point you should know
that the calorie load has entered triple digits and it will continue
to climb. This mess was sautéed until the onions were somewhat
In a large bowl Sandra deposited two bags of unseasoned bread
cubes and I poured the meat and veggies on top. We added the chopped
herbs and maybe two cups of chicken stock, and I think broth would do
just as well. Two well beaten eggs drizzled over everything before
stirring until it all looked uniformly moist and stuffing-like.
This was dumped into the now greased crock pot and patted down a
bit. I think it cooked on High for 45 minutes and on Low for three
It burned a little on the sides but the middle was pretty good.

18 November 2008

Never Forget

Over at Great but Forgotten Chuck Rothman is looking for the author William Johnston. He wrote novelizations and media tie-ins by the dozens but seems to have left few traces.
Mr. Rothman's post stirred up some memories:
Sometimes, usually on a Saturday, when my mother couldn't get a babysitter she would bring us along to the escrow office she ran in a little shopping center somewhat north of Seattle. For lunch money, and to keep out of her hair she hand us each a dollar and we'd go explore. This was in the mid-sixties and a buck was enough to buy her a few hours of peace.
Me and my brother would generally head over to the lunch counter over at the Grocery Boys store at the other end of the mall. A hamburger and fries left me just enough for a 50 cent paperback, or a comic and some candy (my brother, however, was all about the food).
One time I faced the spinner rack and saw a Get Smart! book and my heart stood still. Get Smart! I loved that show. Want it want it want it...
But wait... 60 cents? One full dime more expensive than the books I usually found. A ridiculous price! I couldn't see supporting the publishers in this unwarranted inflation, it might give them ideas. More importantly, I couldn't buy it And a hamburger and fries.
But... I couldn't see walking away from Get Smart, either.
So that day I learned something about budgeting, and bought just a hamburger and Get Smart!
And you know, I've never regretted it, but sometimes I buy extra fries.

12 November 2008

Global Warming Is Averted

We see the back wall of a medium size cave and before it stand several fur clad Cavemen around a cleared area large enough for a small fight. A few torches light the scene.

Pok, a tough looking brute shakes his spear and raps the butt on the ground for attention.

"Pok am Big Man here. Pok kill weak man who say otherwise. Pok am Big Man!"

There are a few snarls and a weak chorus of "Pok am Big Man..."

Pok: "Meeting now in order."

The Tribe settle down but not without more snarling and cuffing of each other. Pok shakes his spear and the Tribe quiets.

Pok: "Old things to talk about. Fig will report. Report, Fig!"

Fig: "Fig talk about Bos Fig catch. Fig catch Bos last warm time and hold Bos over cold time."

Smart Ass Caveman: "Fig hold Bos. Fig love Bos."

Some laughter. Fig snarl. Pok shake spear.

Pok: "I spear you!"

Pok waves spear.

Pok: "Talk, Fig."

Fig: "As saying, Fig hold Bos in Cave. Not Fig Cave. Different Cave."

Tall Caveman: "Bos bad. Sharp head. Bos kill!"

General Cavemen muttering: "Bos bad. Bos kill..."

Pok rap spear on floor again.

Pok: "Pok kill!"

Fig: "Bos mad at first. Fig drag bush in front cave, Bos no get out."

General Cavemen muttering: "Ooh! Fig Strong..."

Pok: "Bos no kill Fig?"

Fig: "Bos mad at first, but Fig feed Bos. Feed Bos grass. Bos like grass. Bos and Fig now friend. Soon Fig can kill Bos very easy. Fig eat well!"

General Cavemen muttering: "Bos tasty."

Pok: "Bos particularly good with Fire."

General Cavemen muttering: "Fire good..."

Fat Caveman: "Fat Caveman live near Fig. Fat Caveman no call Bos Bos. Fat Caveman call Bos Stink Butt."

Fat Caveman holds his nose. General caveman laughter.

Pok: "Fat Caveman right. Fig cave stink bad!"

Old Man: "Funny Pok should say. Old Man watch and learn. Old Man learn Ice no like Stink Butt. Ice move away from tribe holding Stink Butts."

General Cavemen muttering: "Ice move? Bad. Bad..."

Old Man: "Ice move maybe good. Ice move maybe more land. Ice move maybe not so cold."

Tall Caveman: "Ice move, no good. Where Ice go? Maybe Ice move to Water and where Water go? Maybe Water come here!"

General Cavemen muttering: "Water come cave? Bad..."

Pok raps spear.

Fig: "Fig want help with grass. More grass, more Bos. Everyone eat well. Everyone fat like Fat Caveman."

Fat Caveman is bashful.

Pok: "Look! Fat Caveman blush!"

General Cavemen muttering: "Fat Caveman strong..."

Tall Caveman: "Tall Caveman no like Stink Butt. Stink Butt bad! Tall Caveman no like Fig!"

Pok: "What we say?"

General Cavemen muttering: "No Stink Butt! Stink Butt bad!"

Pok: "Who like Stink Butt?"

Old Man eyes crowd and sits down.

Fig: "I like Stink Butt! I mean, I like Bos! Bos good!"

General Cavemen muttering: "Bad! Kill!"

Pok: "Sorry Fig. I kill you!"

Pok stabs Fig with spear. Fig falls and dies.

Pok wipes spear on loin cloth.

Pok: "Any new business?"